Sometimes so many things happen that your emotions get all junked up like debris in a narrow passage of a quick flowing river…a log jam. That’s a bit what life feels like to me lately. Then one day you wake up and something moves inside you and you know you're about to burst a dam so you have to find a way to get things moving. So that is my Page today…I woke up and knew that I need to express my emotional log jam, much of what has come as repercussions to what some of my dear loved ones are having to live through.
Repercussions are things that happen when people forget that life is about ‘we not ‘me’. They take their eyes off the road for personal reasons and the results can affect so many trusting and unaware others!
Prime example: This past Monday of the August long weekend - BC Day, it seemed like everyone was on the move to some place - either they were returning from a long holiday weekend, starting out on their week's holidays or just taking a day trip to enjoy the extra day of a really beautiful weekend.
That's what we decided to do. Having enjoyed the week prior - our summer holidays, and being surrounded by incredible beauty of nature when we went to Salt Spring Island and then up to Missezula Lake, we decided to surprise Grandma and take her outdoors to Cultas Lake for a picnic dinner. We realized that the freeway traffic would be heavy, but decided that if it was too backed up, we could circumnavigate the highway on the way home and avoid the crawl and standstill traffic jams that are typical for long weekends.
Along our way, as we just pulled on to the freeway by our house heading east, towards Chilliwack, we passed by an accident that must have taken place only moments before in the opposite west-bound lane. It didn't appear to be very serious and I doubt that anyone was badly hurt, but oh my, the chain reaction that happened as a result of one person taking their eyes off the road for one brief second causing their car to rear-end the vehicle in front, caused a line-up of traffic that backed up 20 - 30 miles long in a matter of minutes!
As we passed by the miles of cars, trucks, buses, campers, etc. I couldn't help but think how connected we all really are to one another and how it really does matter to others what we do. Interestingly, it made me think of some personal injury incidents (that were really anything but accidents) happening to some amazing and very wonderful people I know I love.
As I looked at the miles of people sitting in their cars on this very warm, beautiful late afternoon, getting more frustrated by the moment because they had no idea what was going on up a head to make them stop moving. I couldn’t help compare how much I felt like one of those drivers sitting 10 miles back, not really knowing what was happening to several people very dear to me. Meanwhile they have been having things happen to them causing their lives to become emotional wrecks because of choices and decisions made by others to them.
At present, I am trying to understand and figure out how this can be happening to them, but I only know enough to realize that it all involves injustice and gross human error - probably routed in pride, jealousy, and/or envy! I don't know how to help....I can’t 'get out of my car' and help them because I don’t know how far up the mishap occurred or how many people are involved. My involvement most likely will make things worse. Also, if I leave my car, what happens if life resumes it’s pace and I become the one causing others to suffer. So I sit, frustrated, hurt and grieving for them, not knowing what else to do.
I marvel at how incidents that happen to one person have the power to affect so many. Incidentally, that back log of traffic lasted hours. When we were returning home several hours later, the traffice was moving, but oh so slowly!!
Like so many things in life that seem to cycle, I don't know if there are seasons when these occurrences happen more often or not, but this past year has been a very difficult one as I have seen incredible, respectable, capable people, full of integrity, being ripped to shreds and rejected by people they trusted. People who may have forgotten the ‘WE’ in life and decided to do something to make themselves feel happier, more important, or whatever!
I am amazed at the repercussions – the fall out that occurs. Even though time does heal a lot, the wounds shape us...yes, even by association, we get hit emotionally and we begin to wonder about human pride and the wanting to get one's own way, no matter what the cost that seems to be happening all over the place. Where is love in this, I ask? What good can really come of it? Is it worth the price? Really??
Sad thing is, that most people most responsible for causing the pain will never truly know how much suffering their actions have caused! There is a ripple effect. Those closest feel helpless just standing by, trying to be supportive and watching while these individuals are having their reputations, their lives and their confidence torn apart. How can this be? It's just wrong!! I want to scream!
I suppose the one concession that we have is that time does eventually heal the wounds and things most certainly do change. I do believe that for those who are strong enough, brave enough and have the ability to release the hurt into God's hands, they can rise above it all and can be made stronger as a result. The way I see it is that God uses PAIN as his shaping and moving tool. But, he still gives us choices through it all. We can choose to surrender our pain and with God's help we become better, stronger, humbler and wiser. Or, we can hold on to it - resist, fight, get angry and eventually become bitter. Oh, how the longing for justice tempts us fight ... indeed fighting injustice is something we must do. But, it is with patience and with wisdom that the fight is won. How often does a fight filled driven by hurting pride turns the focus into a 'ME' focus and the bitter root is seeded.
As a bystander, one of the many who have been 'sitting in my hot car' waiting patiently for some answers and feeling helpless, I must also release my frustration, sorrow, pain and anger to God's great care and trust him through it. As I do that, perhaps then I can reach out and give my love and support to my hurting friends. No, I don’t have the answers and I don’t have the fixes, but I do have love. I care very much and I do trust in an all sufficient, loving God. I believe he can redeem the pain for our benefit and so we can also help others with greater wisdom and love.
To all my hurting loved ones who are going through emotional wreckage, I am grieved…I hurt for you so dearly and the pain is heavy in my heart, yet I know that God cares so much more than I could ever hope to. He is intimately involved. I BELIEVE IN YOU - My hope is in HIM - the Faithful One. He’s more than a body shop repairman…HE is the Creator, the Master Designer and he never slumbers nor sleeps.
There's much more to your story and pages are still being written. Hang in there and wait for God to do his perfect work.
Here is something that I read recently from Isaiah: If you are walking in darkness without a ray of light, trust in the Lord and rely on your God. But, watch out, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves by your own fires. This is the reward you will receive - you will son fall down in great torment.
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